The last conversation I had with you was , telling me " Bakit si Ate Brigette lang nagmamano sayo? Bakit sina Ate Shella , Ate Beng hinde? " whom was asked to you by Nene. You replied her with " Kasi sa malayo sya nakatira, sila dito lang "

I was embarassed by that time, since I only started it out when Lolo got bedridden and eventually the habit of Mano Po seemingly became normal to me.

Weekend passed by and you suddenly got sick.

---

---

Day 1, when mama asked me to go to your house to feed you because you wouldnt eat. I thought it was just a small matter, but the time I went there - you squealed " Inay! Aray Inay ". I thought to myself, " Ah, she wants to die " I couldnt touched you, I became fragile, I know you'll wither away.

Day 2, After they decided to bring you to the hospital, learnt you werent doing good. That morning I prayed to god, if she's willing to give up her life, then I would like him to do it quick.

 Day 3, It finally sunk into me, how grave your situation was. I learnt how great it is to have a big family and when it is not, I prayed and taken back all I've said before. I told god , atleast let her live until graduation... Let her attend me got married, and Heart get into highschool.. wish he'll add more years, add more, cause I can do more.. I can atleast make her happy. I do believe in the possiblity of reincarnation and if ever it is, then I cant be her granddaughter anymore. I want that thing to remain. I love her.

Day 4, Mum returned home, she looked very weary , said your lips turned violet and you had to be rushed to provincial hospital.. That afternoon, she said you'll return home by tomorrow. I said to myself " Ah. She's good as dead " with all the silent treatment Im getting from my mum, I was confident. 

You returned home, I was asked to go and see you, you looked skinned, thinner than I last saw you. I was scared, but I held your hand, you were burning up. I brushed my fingers instead of letting you hear my voice. I thought " There's no way she'll die, she's still warm "

Day 5, At 2pm, I still have managed to pray, crying and hoping you wont let go. I was pained, whenever I hear the home phone rings. By any time, one will confirmed you dead. I was right. Said you died around 3 pm. 

Day xx , Your parish friend approached me, asked how you were doing. I told her you passed away. I wonder what kind of face I was making when I was talking with her. That night , I still cant have the courage to face you, , and to face no weekend mornings to atleast visit you.. 

--

Dear family,

Allow me to hate you when you were with her instead of me. 

Allow me to hate you, when you say " Thank you so much with all the things you've done" instead of " I am sorry that I could do much better, treat you much better and listen to you much better " Allow me to hate you, when she brings you food, when she dines with you, when she sleeps with you, and all the things I could felt sorry for, because I wasnt with her. Allow me to pass the hate with all the remaing love I should have had for her.

#FINISHEDWATCHING 007 : Resident Evil - The Final Chapter

 The franchise was unexpectally good, with the backstory opened for the realm. Well, if I were to judge , it was rather a simple story prolonged with same patterns for the movie (which is it was known for). The main protagonist, Alice, have to retrieve a cure for T-virus inside the Umbrella Corps' hideout which is located at Racoon City under time pressure. The source for the news, however was the Red Queen whom she have been hiding and fighting for years. Original source of information was later revealed at the half of the story. Claire, who somewhats resemble a strong aura like Alice but more feminined , was present in the movie and added a sense of familiarity for the long sequeled movie. 

---     The trial by fire before and after reaching the city stills an avant-garde performances and situations. Executing villians in the movie was rather unpleasant, Wesker , for me, acted like a decoration for me. He didnt do anything, except maintained a directive talking until he is dead. Paul Anderson, liven the role as a high-maintained villian, if that was the goal given between the two then I could say the movie with them is effective, and moving. Additional characters for them to die didnt leave much of an impact. The same setting used impact on lesser value, but the one I am able to appreaciate is the hideout for the remaining refugees. The theme envibes the drama for what makes the main character. Overall, with a hope of the movie's ending to be a sad one, I am happy that the staffs concludes it that way, a bid of farewell remains a happy one. Im happy and contented.

---

Rate : 8/10 ( for the overall sequels )

Rate : 7/10 ( for the movie chapter )

Letter 08 : Dear of the Headlights

I offer these dehydrated tears for your betrayal

While the room corners an exchange, exact.

The small distance, then grew a demand for meaning

these gazes hint of mine.

Dances an honest pattern, he drew -

a sly smile I've always knew

This heart , so became immune

even when he says " I love you " (too)

[ kmjgs15 ] he tapped my shoulder

Caught a familiar tress pass, now he glue

" Bother me! dehydrated tears for you too "

I befriended his enemy.

" I cant trust you no longer " he said

Left unanttended for the silent war

Once, Thrice, he did it eventually

" Dear of the Headlights " that's the killer lady - 

the so called " second chance " will remain

a pale imitation of the first.

--

 Is it because you tainted me , that I believe in this way.

or the resonating conscience of myself unforgiven.

O my Letter Sickness

 

Day 012 : When "It" left.

Tawag ng Tanghalan came to an end, and Pa's manok/bet won . He didnt knew since he was at work, so I played a little usual jokes/pranks on him. If ever he knew , I know he'll play the same trick and calling me a loser. (whom my bet is Sam Mangubat, apparently he won the second place).

Soon after he landed at home, he immediately asked who won the show competition and I interrupted my mum who was about to tell - I told him my bet won and he's a sore loser. I felt triumphant at that time, mum was laughing hard since my dad believed me.

He asked " What song did Noven sang? "
Mum replied " Air Supply . ".
I was eating, busy enjoying my meryenda.
He then said " Dapat tagalog kinanta nya. "
Mum and I both laughed, I again called him - a sore loser.

Never felt better, but sooner he'll know either mum will tell or he will know it by news and I'll get those words I said at him bouncing at the back of my head. Im the loser here, I know that nevertheless, a little tease wont even damage the results anyway. Haha~

--

That afternoon, he is scheduled to go to the barber, get his hair done - bald. Mum, then will go grocery shopping. Alas!

Kwentong Barbero.
Father managed to heard original result from the local barbers who were there at that time.

Barbero 1 : Si Noven ang nanalo sa Tawag ah.
Barbero 2 : Sadya namang ganun.

Father heard them and joined the conversation.

Pa : Si Noven ang nanalo?
Barbero 1 : OO.
Pa: Kaya pala nagtatawanan ang mag-ina ko, sabi ng anak ko si Sam daw.
Barbero 2 : Hindi ah. Pinagtatawanan ka nila.

Barbero 1: HAHAHA
Pa: HAHAHA
Barbero 2 : HAHAHA

When my parents went home, I recieved an expected counterpart of the prank I did on him , physically. Hahaha~ But never felt better upon the process, after and during the time he didnt knew. All of us were happy.

My brother at that time was busy along with his career.
I hope he does well.

--

Letter 007 : Curse to Course

I saw myself in this dream, having an access with you.

You're the plain image, I possibly knew.

You shown it to me, it tortured me.

You were smiling, carrying a bag.

Riled with emotions , I tried to seek your attention.

But this fleeting matter was abudant of happiness, again to be with you.

The longing stands at those ends, I saw you.

I talked to you, with the thing that only connected us.

You responded like a machine, that plain image I possibly knew.

I can only dream the thing I knew about you, and continue dreaming to the future you.

//slapped

That morning, my father came with an idea, of somehow giving an acknowledgement.

I was embarrassed, then I knew Im guilty of loving you still.

I cant still forget about you, I wanted to know if this thread connects a generous fate.

Day 00 : Eyes that sees Everything

So Kahotan updated the blog starting with Leo Watch. 

Supposedly he'll be up to March 27th. I dont have money left so... I'll probably pass.

But since, Im probably an M when it comes to this hobby, let me suffer more.

 AHHHHHHHHHHHH~~ THAT NAME PLATE IS AWEEEESOOOOOME ! ANIME IS TOO.

looks so satisfying at the same time that it isnt. 

Letter 006 : March 13

She told me, " I love you"
" I miss you"

Liqufied gems flew right through her eyes
 looking at me, seeing him.

I said
to myself, " Im fine"
to her " It will be fine"

While this feet loose the shoulder span
against the wall it was leaning
to where we laid our heartache to rest,

I'll kept the keys of our secret doors.

Tomorrow, she'll pick up herself once again,
leaving this cozy bedroom
 into his cold arms

Yet this smile will greet you again farewell.

---

Day 011 : Yellow Corner

With Ky to remind that I should pay for the nendo bills, I immediately tried my best to went to the bank, but first I decided to drop by to my colleagues' boarding house.

After dropping off with the same vehicles I used to take during college, I caught myself lost where is that house. I didnt ask Chellsea with specific questions so I asked atleast five persons to where that damn building is. I felt defeated but I kept on trying. My phone isnt loaded to call her for directions, Yikes ! So I asked for the storeteller where I could get to load, but it was atleast meterrrrrrs away from the tricycle's drop off. I bit my fingernails with disbelief and walked towards the given direction. I saw bunch of contruction on going while the one to turn my eye into is the yellow painted building and asked what I came for.

The store was too busy, so I stepped back and ran the distance as possible. I tried a couple of asking again, with some college strangers. Hah! The guts ! IS FUCKIN ACHIEVEMENT! haha. JK. Finally got my phone loaded and call Chellsea, she didnt pick up. Haha.

I remembered she commented on facebook that she's with Jessica and Mommy Zay whom I probably had their numbers with me. Goodness, Jessica ! <3 She was at the balcony at that time so she immediately saw me at the distance.

---

---

Reached the second floor where they were in, the room is suprisingly enough for four people to live in and for students who works on their thesis. Adding me, felt abit overcrowded. Haha. The atmosphere really felt a difference, they have been working hard while I ran away from my responsibilities as a student. Despite of it , Im happy for them and as the stepping stone I can be too. Ive always been searching myself for a motivation. I know it is kinda stupid but hey! even if the school rejects me, I can now flee to become one on my own terms.

Also, Bia was cooking when I got there, I thought it was chicken, but when the time came it was pork teriyaki-kunno :)) The sauce was perfumed with banana while it saltyness seeming disappear when paired with the crumbed fried pork. She's definitely better than Chellsea. Haha. and me~

After lunch, I immediately remembered and noticed, even the room next to us played the Moana theme song. People do not know the boundaries if you play it, the next person effects it like a domino. I posted this as a status on Chellsea's account when at that time I was borrowing her iPad. We talked about same stuffs when we're together, she seemed lazy finishing her work so I had to tease her a little to move. She jumped in when I was at her bed, her bones cracking from sitting, finishing her thesis design since last night.

---

 

 ---

That afternoon, Husby came and offered a little help for Hazel. He now colored his hair like somekind of ... Idk, but I dont like it. I prefer his natural hair and looks but he is as handsome as ever. With the time turning to four, the girls packed up to attend an afternoon mass at the Trinity, near SM. Wondering with the odds, I was hoping my friends, Carlito, Ben, Edsel and the others will join but after seeing what they looked like. I hoped the best for them to finish the requirements.

It was time for me the part with the girls, at the mean time, to pay check for my nendoroids. Soon after, I got myself out of the bank I went to the church where we supposed to meet. I caught myself lost again , and when I call neither Jessica or Chellsea answers. Luckily, they spot themselves where I can see easily them. Going to the second floor, the 4pm mass ended and minutes away to 5, I sitted together with Bia and Chellsea. Jessica decided she'll join her perks at the choir lounge.

The mass ended, crowded with rosary and crufix they're holding, the lay ministers begun to put ashes on the forhead of the people waiting in line. Some were black as black while other diminished to recognize. Going back to the mall, I parted with them for the last time, wishing them luck and thanking them for that day. I easily get a van rented to ride home safely. The road taken for the past two years Im stuck on my room seemingly disappeared. As an invisible entity is probably eating away the buildings I once knew. 

The economy and demands are growing too fast. I wish I can , well I could if I wanted to, run the same pace. I hope my colleagues well, myself even better and the place I'll be dedicating myself into.